There was a time when I couldn’t look at myself in the mirror without flinching. The reflection staring back at me felt like an accusation: „Not good enough.” In a desperate attempt to escape, I’d grab my phone, mindlessly scrolling through social media, convincing myself it was just a distraction. But it wasn’t. Each post, each perfect body, each effortless beauty only dug the knife deeper.
For the longest time, I thought it was just me. That my mind was addicted to self-pity, that I was the problem. But then I stopped and asked myself a question I should have asked long ago: Was it really just me? Or was social media pouring gasoline on a fire that was already burning?
The Commercialisation of Insecurity
What if I told you that there are people out there who intentionally trigger body image issues because it brings them money?
Companies treat your body like a seasonal trend. For decades, fashion giants have portrayed themselves as these saviours women desperately need. They push unreachable proportions, like the famous 24-inch waist, into our subconscious until we break down. And when the public’s view shifts, they desperately try to reinvent themselves, switching from one body ideal to another just to maintain relevancy. But their approach lacks real authenticity.
To them, a body shape is just a product. As long as a specific trend facilitates their incoming flux of dollars, they will push it down our throat, whether it is hurtful or not. They exploit our emotions without caring about the psychological toll. Once we understand this brutal dynamic of power, we can no longer allow these advertisements to dictate how we feel about ourselves.
The Male Gaze Trap
Sex sells, and it is all over our screens. TikTok and Instagram are full of advice on how to become more desirable, as if the approval of the opposite sex is the ultimate goal. We are constantly bombarded with videos and comments detailing what men like, how to make them obsessed, or how to become their ultimate fantasy.
This relentless pressure to fit the image of the femme fatale leads to deep feelings of inadequacy. We look at our stomachs, our breasts, or our skin, wondering if anyone would choose us.
But here’s the truth: the biggest power move you can make is to simply stop caring about what any man has to say about your body!
True freedom is living your life in pure happiness, moving forward with confidence, and not looking back to see if a man is watching you glow. Taking care of your appearance is beautiful, but do it for yourself! Do it so that you can experience deeper self-love, not to seek someone else’s passing and temporary approval.
Quick Fixes for Deeper Problems: Plastic Surgery
During commercial breaks of popular reality shows, ads for cosmetic procedures played on a loop, subtly reinforcing the idea that altering your physical form is the only way to be desirable. Social media has normalised plastic surgery, selling it as a quick solution to self-esteem issues.
While these procedures might be helpful for some, for others, though, they rarely bring lasting self-acceptance. More often than not, fixing one thing only shines a spotlight on other areas that could be changed. Suddenly, you find yourself trapped in a toxic cycle, unable to see that what seemed like a single problem was actually just the tip of the iceberg.
Unfortunately, more and more women face body dysmorphia as a result of plastic surgery: feeling like no matter how they look or what they change about their bodies, it will never be enough; there will always be something that feels imperfect.
The problem lies in trying to fix an internal wound with an external solution. No amount of money spent on procedures can outshine the real, raw effort put toward healing your insecurities from within. No surgery will ever make you love yourself more than true self-acceptance can.
How Can We Reclaim Our Worth?
Social media will always be there, flashing unattainable standards at us. We cannot control the algorithm, but we can completely control how we let it affect our minds.
First, set firm boundaries. Take a well-deserved social media break whenever the pressure builds up. Step away from the screen for days or even weeks if you feel the need to breathe. Unfollow or mute every single account that makes you feel bad about yourself, even in the slightest sense.
Second, educate yourself. Read articles just like this one, share the knowledge with your friends, and speak up about these platforms' powerful effects on our self-image. When you feel a trigger, stop and ask yourself: „Is this really about me, or am I reacting to a fake digital reality?” Not everything we internalise is ours to carry.
Build healthy, real-world coping mechanisms. Dance to your favourite empowering songs in your room, find yourself through hobbies, and discover what makes your inner core feel strong and centred.
Your body is a beautiful, living vessel, not a fashion trend that will be outdated in a few years. True self-love doesn’t come from a number on a scale or the digital validation of strangers. It comes from recognising your irreplaceable worth, no matter what is currently trending!
Written by Iulia
Hi, I’m Iulia!
A psychology writer with her journal against the world. I write to make sense of the quiet moments, the in-betweens, and the parts of life that don’t always make it into conversations. My mission is to help people navigate the emotional journey of self-love, finding comfort in their own skin and safety in their softest, most vulnerable spaces. Words are my safe space, and I hope my words have the power to make you feel that safety net.